By Doug Bitonti Stewart, Executive Director, Max M. & Marjorie S. Fisher Foundation

My love for our sector and the people who wake up every day to make an impact has kept me in this work since 1987. From fundraising for the first half of my career to working alongside the Fisher family and their partners here in Detroit and in Israel for nearly 20 years, my passion and understanding of the pivotal role our sector plays in serving our community and nation have only deepened.

I recently shared my long-held belief for why I no longer use the term nonprofit and found myself telling a much deeper story and message I wanted to share.

Given the opportunity to introduce a panel of speakers for the Civic & Community Engagement Summit co-hosted by the Michigan Nonprofit Association (MNA) and Council of Michigan Foundations (CMF) at Marygrove College in November, I took a slight detour from the script and jumped into a well-worn pitch for a new way to see our work.

A well-worn pitch

I don’t believe anyone should be defined by what they are not. If our brothers and sisters in the for-profit world define themselves by what they are for – and profit is a good thing if it is not extractive nor harms someone else – why should we simply be defined as not-for-profit?

No one I know wakes up in the morning to avoid profit or strives only to break even financially. The best people in our work wake up to make a substantive, long-term (sometimes incremental, sometimes bold) positive impact on our world and the issues we face together. So, let our work be defined by what we jump out of bed for… for justice, for love, for courage, for care, for-impact!

As I looked out at the crowd of for-impact professionals and volunteer leaders that morning, I realized I was singing to the choir, and I had another message to share.

An accidental detour

I began to focus on each changemaker, caregiver, and justice warrior I saw in the room. It triggered me to share something I rarely do.

In the fall of 2017, at the age of 46, I suffered a major depressive episode. As someone who outwardly appears to be easy to laugh, reasonably successful, perhaps too confident and overly optimistic, I shared that there were days I could neither get out of bed or, if I mustered the courage to get up, I couldn’t stay out of bed.

Regardless of the repeated pleas from my wife, I denied the signs of feeling regular bouts of panic, not being able to concentrate, and having a sense that no matter what I did, the worst was about to come my way. As a result, my lifelong inner critic moved from its regular destructive dialogue to full weaponization. My body didn’t let me sleep for days; I stopped feeling hungry and lost 15 pounds in a matter of weeks. Instead of asking for help or sharing my struggle with anyone, I kept my secret and drudged on. Feeling as though I was stepping ever closer to the moment they would finally find out I wasn’t who they thought I was, I hid from it all. Until I couldn’t.

Sitting across from my board chair discussing regular affairs of our shared work, I found myself in a full panic. Heart racing, eyes not able to focus, left arm tingling with numbness, and chest beginning to drip with sweat – I left the office and met my wife at my doctor’s office.

That was the start of eight years of developing my daily Six-a-Day* mental health hygiene practice. Daily gratitude journaling, mindfulness practice, telling (or mostly reminding) someone I love them, exercising, eating well, and drinking enough water to stay well hydrated. It is a daily practice of honesty and self-compassion on top of regular therapy and medication.

A deeper request

My detour that morning brought me to share this request with you: If you find yourself in these times, moving from serving in a mightily struggle to suffering mightily, reach out for help. Tell someone. Accept help when it is offered, even if you don’t know how. If you know someone who is suffering, use the crisis lifeline by dialing or texting 988. You can and will get better. I know that is true. And I don’t let managing my depression define me, other than to say it has brought me courage and made me more compassionate.

Being defined by your own values and beliefs and what gets you out of bed in the morning is key. No one should be defined by what they are not.

I am a for-impact person who has suffered a depressive episode, follows a mental health hygiene routine, who’s willing to talk about it, offers help and makes sure others get out, and stay out of bed in the morning for what they believe in most.

Want more?

*Six-A-Day is a reference to an invention of the Brightmoor Early Childhood Quality Initiative leaders who described the top six things they wanted their caregivers to do for the little ones in their care each day: hug me, read to me, speak to me, encourage me, sing with me, play with me.

Resources to Support Your Mental Health & Wellness 

 

*Originally published in CMF Community Voices and shared with permission from the Council of Michigan Foundations